Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Bitch, You'll Be a Woman Soon
Chloe is a woman now. We picked up some 'Bitch Britches' to contain the seepage while P-Fool was KA&TN out in Indio over the weekend, but they were way too big, so we've opted for the high-waisted Donna Karan number pictured here, but even they had to be taken in! Talk about your supermodel looks! Strangely enough, it's Nigel and Portfolio that have been binging and purging.
The mood around here has been distinctly altered by the pheromones - weird trance states, political upheaval, and sudden mood swings. The other night Chloe - who sleeps at the head of the bed - suddenly woke up at like 3 AM and chomped me on the bicep -- and it fuckin hurt! Never happened before, either. Nogonna happen again, as I'm building her one of those 'menstruation huts' out on the back 40, where she can hook her tentacle up to the Gaia Hypothesis Shrub and save the noble blue-skinned aborigines by commanding the purple dragons to clog the intakes of the invading hover-jets. Or whatever it is chicks do at "that time of the month." Long as I don't get any more distinguishing scars.